TOP 10 LIST
1. Three nun's and the soap machine
2. How to become a manager
3. Little boys gender problem
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1. A 23 year old man noticed that there was no soap as he stepped into the shower. In order to get soap, he would have to run across the church hall to the supplies room. Checking to make sure there's no one in the church hall he ran barefooted, naked and quickly across to the supplies room. As he was returning to the shower room with one soap bar in each hand he saw three nuns. It was too late to run away so he acted quickly. He stood motionless, pretending to be a statue. As the three nuns walked by, they were curious that there is a new statue so they stopped to examine. One num was amazed at how alivel this statue looked and start touching the statue. As she pulled on the penis, the young man unable to bare, dropped one bar of soap that was in his hand. Immediately the num said "Oh, it's a soap bar dispenser". Another num came up and said "let me try". Again, the penis was pulled and the second bard of soap fell to the floor. The third nun also wanted to try so she pulled on the penis too. But this time there is no soap, so she kepted on pulling. Finally the third num turns around and said "No, this is a liquid soap dispenser"
2. The Manager
The brain said, "Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the manager". The feet said, "Since I carry man wherever he wants to go and get man in position to do what the brain wants him to do, I should be the manager". The hands said, "Since I do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the manager". The eyes said, "Since I must look out for all of you and tell you where danger lurks, etc., I should be the manager". And so it went on - the heart, the lungs, the ears, etc., and finally the asshole spoke up and demanded that it should be the manager. All the other parts laughed and laughed at the very idea of asshole being manager. Asshole was so angered that he blocked himself off and refused to function. Soon the brain was feverish, the feet were too weak to walk and the hands hung simply at the sides. The lungs and heart struggled to keep going. All pleaded with the brain to relent and let the asshole be the manager, and so it happened. All the body parts did all the work and the asshole just supervised and passed out a load of shit. The moral of this story is: "You don't have to be a brain to be a manager - just an asshole!"
3. Tickle Me Elmo
A women desperately looking for work goes into Irwin. The Personnel Manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he regrets he has nothing worthy of her. The women answers that she really needs work and will take almost anything. The Personnel Manager hums and haws and finally says he does have a low skill job on the "Tickle Me Elmo" line and nothing else. The women happily accepts. He takes her down to the line and explains her duties and that she should be in for 8:00 a.m. the next day.
The next day at 8:45 there's a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The "Tickle Me Elmo" line manager comes in and starts ranting about the women just hired. After screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the assembly line is the Personnel Manager suggested he show him the problem.
Together they head down to the line and sure enough Elmos are backed up from here to kingdom come. Right at the end of the line is the women just hired. She has pulled over a roll of the material used for the Elmos and has a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little pice of fabric and takes 2 marbles and starts sowing them between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager starts to kill himself laughing and finally after 20 minutes of rolling around he pulls himself together and walks over to the new employee and says: "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do was give Elmo two test tickles."